Design and Writings by Riz
Bluedfiles Version 17
� April 2005

New Layout.
La lang, I just feel like it. :)

I had this layout started way back, thinking i could put it up in time for valentines. Well, it's too late now but a change of look for the meantime won't hurt right? The line up there, by the way, is lifted from the movie Crazy Beautiful. It's kinda mushy, yeah.. apparently though, that's basically my state of being right now -- mushified. Ok, whatever that means, add it up to your dictionaries. I thought of trashing this away na lang pero, I duno what came up to me this afternoon, I just feel like it. So here. It probably won't stay up long, you know me. As always, enjoy it while it lasts. Ta-ta. c",)

More Hugs Please?
I just noticed I got more than a hundred hugs already! Yahoo! :) Now since I ain't got much to post anyway, can I just hoard some more hugs?? Tenkyuuu!




*HUGS* TOTAL!
give browneyed more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

okidokie, off to work!!

Riz Blabbered @ 5:45:00 PM.

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Flower in the Rain.
You know how I've always admitted that I'm such a crybaby? I cry a lot. I feel happy, I cry. I'm overwhelmed, I cry. I fight with my brothers, I cry. I am confronted by someone, I cry. I see a mushy movie, I cry. I feel distressed, I cry. I hear a touching (or rebuking) sermon in church, I cry. For some reasons, letting my emotions out through my tear glands has always been a good therapy for me.

Yesterday night, in the middle of making phone calls at work, a tear suddenly rolled down my cheek. A few seconds after, I found myself in a cubicle at the ladies' room, letting the rest of the tears fall. If you know me well, you know what my reasons were.

Then I was reminded of this song...

      You are the one, there's no one else
      Who lifts me up and gives me water from the well.
      But there's a hole that seems to drain it all away.
      And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
      When all my strength is crying out.

      The evil wind, it blows a storm to rock my world
      Just when I think I'm safe and warm.
      I'm led astray far too easily.
      It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong,
      Until I know I can't go on.

I have come to the end of my rope. What I regret now, is the realization that I have allowed myself to come to this point, despite knowing that I would regret this in the end.

      So, here I am again
      Willing to be opened up and broken
      like a flower in the rain.
      Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised,
      To reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain..

A lot of my friends tell me that working in a call center may cause me all kinds of temptations and compromises. I thought so too. But after three weeks, I have proven that God can penetrate even the hard walls and the worldly shield surrounding a place as such. And more importantly, He goes way beyond to reach out and to break the walls surrounding a sinner's heart.

In short, haay.. ang kulit talaga ni Lord. Kahit pasaway ka, He just won't stop loving you.

      Lord, You have searched me and know
      When I sleep and when I rise.
      You're familiar with all my ways.
      Even the darkness will shine
      Like the day when You look into my heart.

      So, here I am again
      Willing to be opened up and broken
      like a flower in the rain.
      Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised,
      To reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain..
When you come to think of His stubborness, of His undying love, words just won't be enough to thank Him. With that in mind, I wiped my tears away, walked back to my work station, and got through the whole shift with a lighter load on my back. c",)

[Ed.] marian, the song, Flower in the Rain, is from Jaci Velasquez's first album, Heavenly Places. She's the same singer who sang I Promise.. alam mo yun, yung, like, all-time favorite LCM song ng IVCF?? :)

Riz Blabbered @ 3:25:00 PM.

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I'm Busy But I Have Time to Get Mushy.
Valentine’s Day just passed. Allow me to be mushy for just one moment, aright? :)

Last year, I spent it with my cousin, watching SATC marathon over a pitcher of iced tea and Pringles. This year, my Vday started at work, making calls and offering our clients free magazines, followed by sleeping the whole day off, church practice in the evening, and finally ended with some DVDs with my brother when we got home. Some texts, a bar of toblerone from my teammate, 2packs of M&Ms I bought during our break, and a pack of kisses I also bought for myself on my way to church, were the highlights of my day. (Man, I’m addicted to chocolates lately!! Ugh! Not good..)

Now, as a new day starts, I find myself itching to blog something out, even if I know I would just end up blabbering non-stop about non-sensical things on my non-valentinesday-like Valentine’s Day. I still can’t find my way to sleep. Well, I’m not entirely blaming it on the occasion. Truth is, ever since I started night shift, my body clock is now on EST (Eastern Standard Time), that's why. I’m starting to become a vampire. I’m not really sure if I like it that much.

Anyway, Valentine’s Day was just another typical day for me. A typical day with sightings of couples walking around holding hands (brace yourself, this is going to get mushy), ladies holding on to their bouquet of roses and stuffed toys, work stations (in our office, specifically) decorated with flowers and balloons by their certain special someones, and chocolates passed around everywhere. It was in every way, nostalgic. And for some reasons, you can’t help but just stare at all these happenings, hold on to the next person without a date beside you, sigh and not say anything, yet get the message across. Did I just say typical?

Oh, there was this workmate and friend of mine, Aimee, who’s on her mid-twenties. She’s one of those I hang around with a lot since we’re practically neighbors. Anyway, her husband surprised her during our lunch break (in our local time, that’s about 1:00 in the morning), took her out to Gerry’s, and when she got back, she’s all beaming, carrying this big bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolate, and a really gooey smile on her face. Uh, talk about floating on air with the butterflies. I also know of another friend (I’d rather not mention her name, hehe), who got to have two dates on Valentine’s Day. One surprised her at her office with flowers, stuffed toy, and chocolates, and the other picked her off to have dinner somewhere. (Haha, Lakas mo girl!!) What’s my point again? Uh.. haha, I don’t know. I just feel like sharing some Vday stories. Get the picture? =)

I know of some people who are cynical when it comes to Valentine’s day. Yes, come to think of it, who invented Valentine’s Day anyway? As far as I know, St. Valentine is not even a saint after all, and was just a made up story. And Valentine's Day is just one occasion flower shops, card shops, restaurants, and foreign and local singers take advantage of. And yeah, why date someone out on a Valentine’s Day when everyone else are out there, and roads are clogged with traffic anyway?

As for me though, I’m one of the many who still go mushy when this time of the year comes by. Not because I have someone to spend it with. What makes my heart flutter during Valentine’s Day is that hope that someday, I’ll get to spend it with someone really special too, just like Aimee, and everyone else. That one Valentines day, someone will just come up surprise me at my doorstep, or my office, and will just sweep me off my feet.

Now I really wouldn’t mind spending the next several Valentines day alone, and wait for that time I’ll have my day, if God allows me. Besides, I’m not the only single woman here anyway. For the mean time, the company of my single friends is enough to keep the spirit of Valentine’s Day alive. After all, I’m sure God wants us to celebrate Valentine’s Day treasuring and being satisfied with Him and what He’s given us for now. Now that sounds good enough for me.

There really must be something with all those chocolates I consumed, huh? c",)

Ok, I’m done now.
Mushy mode off.

Riz Blabbered @ 6:39:00 AM.

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off to night shift.
i'll be working night shift starting tonight. i'm a nocturnal person, aryt, but honestly, i don't know if working from 9pm to 6am on weekdays is a good idea.

so i'm posting this to say that i wouldn't be posting in a while..
to say good bye to my social life..
and to tell those people who are asking for help on their web layouts that i'll be on a temporary leave from webdesigning (soorreeehhhh!!)..
and finally.. to thank whoever you are, for the hugs. c",)
(i have 77 na, thanks!)

plugs.
and yeah.. to thank these wonderful people for the comments as well.. visit them. :)
marian badap slitherdude arnold brokensaint noni trisha wawel keren vinz budj ida jam

there you go. i'm off to another planet. *poof*

Riz Blabbered @ 2:10:00 PM.

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