Design and Writings by Riz
Bluedfiles Version 17
� April 2005

randomness.
five a.m.
saturday night.
er, sunday morning.
hazel nut coffee.
sleepless.
insomnia.
caffeine.
*blink,blink*

i really should stop on the coffee.

Riz Blabbered @ 3:57:00 AM.

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conscience, am i dead?
this is the first time (and probably the only time) i'll ever post up a quizilla result here. haha, sorry, i got overwhelmed. though somehow i found it insulting that i am a lot like her (uhh, am i that absent-minded??), i still find her cute. and her optimistic and jolly personality is really something i'd love to have myself. i love this! hehe. =)


What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


oohh.. i really like this part: "Extreme situations can cause you to lose your composure as well, but just remember this: time heals all wounds."

and let me just add that i got teary-eyed over these lines:
Quote: (Dory to Marlin) "No. No, you can't! ...STOP! Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave... if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you! I do, look! P. Sherman, forty-two... forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And, and I look at you, and I... and I'm home! Please... I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget."

I AM really like Dory.
im like Dory, im like Dory!! weee!!

uhm, who's Dory again?
ha, ha.

Riz Blabbered @ 9:40:00 AM.

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too much coffee.
i had too much coffee yesterday. i was studying for a really big midterm exam almost the whole day and i had to keep myself awake. the caffeine was working, really, until i realized that i have drunk too much. before i knew it, my hands and knees were shaking like crazy! so congratulate me. i now know the side effects of caffeine.

anyway, i managed to get through the whole night without sleeping.. until my exam this morning. yup, until my exam. you see, i got to school early, went through my notes again one last time, and took the exam. get this, somewhere in the middle of trying to come up with a decent definition of "Ethnomethodology", i fell asleep. right there. right then. in the midst of about 12 anxious students and a terrorizing professor, i fell asleep. *clap,clap* some student i am. but then again, it aint my fault!! it's the caffeine's!! it failed me when i needed it most.

oh well, i got to finish the exam though, thank God. but i have to keep on praying for the results.

now, i'm in dire need of loooong sleeping hours. and when i get up, i have to study again.

Riz Blabbered @ 11:04:00 AM.

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FridayFive
yeah, yeah.. i got nothing to do again.

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
My earliest would be 5:30am (on Tuesdays because my class starts at 7am). other than that, i can wake up as early as 7am, and as late as 12noon.

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
Yup. Ohh.. very late. 2am is early for me. i can stay up til 7am the following day. heehee.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
Check my mobile phone. Brush my teeth. Pray.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?
An hour or so. But if i wake up really late, i can get ready in 30mins.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
McDonalds. yyuuum. Arrg. I've been craving for their pancakes! I gotta get myself some of those soon.

thanks FridayFive.

plugs: jam, stef, mak, mikks, marky, corey.

Riz Blabbered @ 1:25:00 AM.

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too much for a night.
what did I know? after having only one hour of sleep the other day because of SV’s Ladies Night, I spent half of the day (read: yesterday. it’s past midnight as i type this) on my bed, getting as much sleep as I can. little did I know that there’s a reason for those long hours of rest -- I would need it now.

I cant believe how much have happened the past five hours. (1) a friend of mine displaying acts of insensitiveness that hurt me like crazy; (2) ghost of my past calling up from out of the blue, and later on, telling me "to leave him alone for a while" (uh?) and now, haunting me once more; (3) going online, hoping to unwind, but ended up being faced with unresolved stuff I so badly need to fix, and (4) hearing depressing news about people I care so much about; and now, (5) being left alone in the dark again, thinking things through… and wondering, why oh why did all these happen in one night?!!

last Sunday in our youth Bible Study, we discussed about how we all possess a “disordered mind”, that which has conflicting thoughts and selfish desires.. and how God wills for us to free our minds of conflict and have desires which are in line with His. right, why did I mention that? I really don’t know.. maybe because I’m not really having an “ordered mind” right now. my head's in a whirl of all kinds of thoughts.. selfish ones, annoying ones, confused ones, unexplainable ones. now how am i going to sleep at a time like this??

so here i go, online at 2:30am, chatting with Ate Jam and trying to hold on to God's promise that everything still happens for a reason, no matter how incomprehensible and complicated life can be. hey, that goes for me and her. right 'te jam? *wink*

right. so that's it. end of rambling. at least the happenings the past hours have given me some things i can be grateful for: (1) more reasons to move on and let go; (2) some things to think about (yup, i realized that i should be grateful for this too), tests i have to pass and resolutions i have to stick with; (3) an ate i can share my thoughts with; (4) a sound sleep tonight, since i'd be soooo stressed and drained after all these; and (5) a lunch date tomorrow.

and so i end with this again: God indeed, has His reasons.

yup, even in times like this.

Riz Blabbered @ 1:51:00 AM.

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Mars.
are you guys aware that the planet Mars is visible in our skies this whole month of August? there. now you know. too bad, the skies have been cloudy the past days. but God, in all His mercy, granted my prayer at least for a night, and so at the start of this week, i finally saw it. Mars. visible. here on earth. can be seen just a little below the moon. amazing. =)

anyway, this is an email forward regarding this really unusual phenomena. you might be interested to read this.

Mars this August.
Never again in your lifetime will Mars, A.K.A. the Red Planet be so spectacular!

In August, the Earth and Mars will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years but it may be as long as 60,000 years.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of-2.9 and will appear 25.11 Arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.

Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August, Mars will rise in the East at 10 p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. But by the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m. That's pretty convenient when it comes to seeing something that no human has seen in recorded history.

So mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share with your children and grandchildren.

No one alive today will ever see this again.

Riz Blabbered @ 9:01:00 PM.

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NEW LAYOUT!
aryt, aryt.. im admitting it already. i am an addict. so shoot me.

by the way, thanks Trish for designing my seventh version. i'll be saving that. thanks muuuuch!! :)

be blogging more later.
meanwhile, my bed is missing me.

Riz Blabbered @ 1:24:00 AM.

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plug: strange presence.
moved: painted words and BITS.

ha, im famous.
i have a fan. i heard she's starting to miss my blogs. we were having lunch at World Tops (katips) just a few hours ago when she asked me this.. "bakit di ka na nagbblog riz?" so now, i'm blogging because i know that one person will be checking up my site tonight.. haha, i feel like a movie star, really! i've ranted and rambled here the past eight months, not really caring if people read my nonsenseness. but somehow, the thought that someone actually reads them, makes my heart flutter like crazy. so to my avid reader... this blog is..... FOR YOU! haha.. love you te Jam!! :)

waiting.
i'm in a computer caf right now, waiting for my appointment with a friend. we're going to meet up at 5pm. i have two hours to kill, and for someone who loves bumming around and killing time, i'm actually having a hard time now.

*yaaawn*. i'm sleepy but i can't sleep. i long for my bed but i'm a bus and two jeepney rides away from home. i have piles of readings to do but i left them all at home. i feel like i can't wait any longer! but then again, if i didn't wait, i would miss this big opportunity to talk with my friend. so that's what i'm doing now -- wait, be patient, and try to make the most out of the free time i have left. coz when the long wait comes to pass... everything will be worth it, for sure.

life, after all, is like that..

right ate Jam? c",)

Riz Blabbered @ 2:49:00 PM.

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i was going through my journal last night, and i saw this poem i wrote about 4 years ago. i'm not a poet, not at all. in my entire life, i've written about three poems -- two of them were thrown away. so this is yes, the only remnant i have of my poetry.

i wrote this four years ago.. but then, its message, it seems to be, is.. eternal.

i smiled remotely
hiding behind this mask of mine
pretending to be unaware
of that feeling,
of the pain kept inside..
so many words unspoken
bound by this space
between two worlds, two lives
and as they disappear into nothingness
unfelt, untouched, unheard...
i put on this mask
and smiled once more.

Riz Blabbered @ 6:00:00 PM.

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love and pain.
what can you say about love and pain? do they always have to go together? i always had this notion that love is all butterflies and fairytales and bliss.. but then, maybe, just maybe, the real test of love is how it survives struggles after struggles and ends up still victorious in the end. maybe that's what love is after all.. maybe, in those moments when nothing seems fair, love is that which makes you accept blindedly and stubbornly the painful realities there are. maybe, it is through pain that you really grasp what love is all about -- that which forgives, and accepts, and loves no matter what the circumstances maybe...

after all, that's how God has loved us, right? and for sure, He only wants us to love the same way He's had.

Riz Blabbered @ 7:50:00 AM.

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