Design and Writings by Riz
Bluedfiles Version 17
� April 2005

No, not stalling.. at least I don't like to think so. Let's just say.. I'm sort-of taking a breather. ;)

Sometimes, the more pressured I am, the more I find the need to blog. I guess for those who are longtime bloggers such as I am, you know exactly what I mean. See? I’m blogging a frequent lot lately. Go figure how pressured I am. Hehe.

Sunday Breather.
I have two papers due tomorrow. One is an audience analysis for an IEC (Information-Education-Communication) Campaign on Reproductive Health (a special topics course in research); and the other is the Study Framework of my undergrad thesis proposal. I had the audience analysis done by this morning (yey!), and now, I’m more than halfway through the study framework. Let’s just say, since I’m anticipating another sleepless night of cramming anyway, I’m having one of those breathers again now. ;)

I didn’t go to church today. Now that’s a first for me in the past 10 years or so. I never missed a day in church, you know, being a professed pastor’s kid (ohh the perks of being one, hehe). This morning though, when I woke up, everybody had gone to church already. According to my mom, they couldn’t wake me up daw. I bet nasungitan ko na naman sila (unconsciously of course, hehe) while they were trying to pull me out of my bed.

Oh well. I missed a day in church. But then, God allowed me to experience a worship service in the confines of my room. Nothing really beats moments of solitude with God.. Moments when time seems to stand still, when every problem and worry (term papers more specifically) becomes seemingly non-existent, and for an eternal moment, He is the only one that matters, He becomes your world. Today this song kept on playing on my head.

And everything I have I give to you oh Lord
The one I live for, I just want You
And all my day’s a gift from you
I pray I use them as you want me to
I’ll use them for You…

You are my world, You are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord, the one I love
No one could ever take Your place..

I know I’ve said this already sometime before, but again, it’s good that when you’re overwhelmed with joy, there are songs such as this that could express your utmost praise. I’m thankful He loves me the way He does. I’m glad that in the midst of a chaotic and cynical world, I have Him. I hope my new friend wanders by and reads this. Hehe.

Withering Flowers.
The bouquet of flowers that’s still remained untouched beside the computer table had started drying up. Soon enough, it will be just one of those dried flowers of the past, set aside, later thrown away, but will always stay unforgotten. And so will he.. I never meant to hurt, to ignore. But some things should be kept as they are, and be accepted for all they’re worth. If anything else, the flowers were greatly appreciated, and will always have a place in my sincere thoughts. Thank you, friend.

When the Past Comes Knocking Back.
Yesterday, I found myself face to face with my past. He called, the guy who filled my immaturish, puppylove-struck, 15-year-old thoughts. That was a first time (that he called), in the past two years, I guess. And it’s just amazing how we’re able to talk about the past and how immature we had been. He’s got a girlfriend now, but then again, yuck, who could ever forget the silliness that we once were? ;)

I’m glad those silly and immature days were over. I’m not saying I’m mature now, coz heck, to a large extent, I know I’m not. Sometimes, I wish to turn back time, erase parts of my life, and start anew. But then, I get to think about the things I learned, and how God made those ugly things beautiful again.. and I knew that I wouldn’t be who I am now without them.

Haaay nako.

Sometimes, when you come to imagine how you want to spend the rest of your life, and who you dream to spend it with, you end up wishing you can just breeze right through it and fast forward time to several years ahead. Here go those thoughts again. Tsk, tsk.

Yep, it’s a long way to go. And before that happens, I have to get these papers out of the way first. Hehe.

Good night world. Good night whoever you are He wills for me, wherever you are.. I’m looking forward to spending sleepless nights such as this, with you.

As for me, as for now, the night has just begun. c”,)

Riz Blabbered @ 1:54:00 AM.

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