Design and Writings by Riz
Bluedfiles Version 17
� April 2005

Plugs.
I started a Photoblog, inspired by her.
She finally decided to have a blog of her own.
These people never fail to make me smile.
Thanks for the comments, guys. c",)

Enough Study Break.
After my group thesis defense last week (Tuesday), I had quite a long break from all the deadlines. Wednesday, I spent the whole afternoon hanging out with my church friends at a house in Marikina; Thursday, I slept the whole morning off, and had an instant bonding session with Ate Jam, Kuya Iking and Kuya Gunns late in the afternoon (some quality time among the rockstars and their two fans, hehe); Friday, I hibernated the whole morning again, attended SVCF’s Applicant’s Big Fellowship in the afternoon, and had a date with my brother later in the evening; Saturday night, I went to my friend’s debut at Fernwood; and finally, on Sunday, spent the whole day in church.

In all these days, I put aside the research papers, and the deadlines. I didn’t want to think of them just yet. Today, though, panic mode officially starts. Realization sinks in. I have two papers due on Monday, and another big one a week after that… and I haven’t started a thing at all.

Man, enough study break.

Stalling.
Sometimes, I feel like I have some kind of psychological disorder. Whenever I know I have major things to do that need to be started off, I find myself going through a semi-unconscious route of stalling – I play Solitaire, I go online, I read some book that has got nothing to do with my research topics, I eat junkfood, I spend an enormous time over the phone, I watch DVD – I’d do anything to distract myself from doing what I should be doing. And no matter how I try to concentrate, I’d just end up staring at a blank page of a Microsoft Word document, helpless, and much later, closing up the Word document window and clicking on the Spider Solitaire icon (or the Internet Service Provider) on my desktop.

Like right now for example. I have to do some stuff, I know. But here I am.. stalling. Man! It’s seriously upsetting me already. I’m screaming inside, begging for some ounce of diligence in my system. Is there some kind of medicine that somewhat injects hormonal stuff that motivates the brain to be focused? I badly need some.

Arrrgh! I’m serious na. I’d just get this blog over and done with so I can try to be focused again starting tomorrow. Hehe. Inhale, Exhale.

Mushy Thoughts.
On the lighter side of things, (ehem, I suppose that would be enough transition, hehe), I have senti MP3s playing right now. To Be Near You. Dream of Me. Come Away with Me. You’re my You. Moonlight Over Paris. Name one senti song, I probably have it. So there, I’m kind of intoxicating myself with these music.. along with my own senti thoughts.

Anyway, it has been a long time since I last received a bouquet of flowers. Last Friday, someone gave me a bunch, and it’s sitting right beside my computer monitor at the moment, still surprisingly as fresh and alive as it had been when it was given to me. It was lovely.. well, it still is. And I have my good friend to thank that for.

Now there’s something with the sight of the flowers, the senti background music, the sound of the drizzling rain, the dramatic effect of the wind on my light blue window curtains, and the yellow-orangeish glow of my bedside lamp, that made me want to blog something mushy even when I really can’t think of anything to start with. Diane blogged something like this once, “the mood is there but the heart and mind aren’t” or something to that effect.

In my case though, the mood is there.. the mind is, and probably the heart too. But then, there’s just no one to be mushy over right now. There are some prospective choices around, you know, but then, I still haven’t really felt the za-za-zooo, just yet. There still ain’t enough butterflies to fly me to the clouds, to sweep me off my feet. I know it can wait, yes, but then again, I just can't help but have these thoughts cross my mind once in a while. Just once in a while. ;)

Which made me think.. when it comes to finding the right person to love, will God’s will be someone that will fit your standards, or will he be someone that you’ll just learn to love, despite not having the qualities that you’ve always dreamed of?

Arrg. Maybe I should have written this in my Tabulas account. Oh well. Hay, tama na nga. Enough mushy thoughts for now. Tomorrow is another day.

Good night world! c",)

Mushy mode off. Again.

Riz Blabbered @ 1:04:00 AM.

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