Design and Writings by Riz
Bluedfiles Version 17
� April 2005

So I Wait.
Sometimes, when you come to imagine how you want to spend the rest of your life, you end up wishing you can just breeze right through it and fast forward time to several years ahead. However, while you feel excited at the thought, you know it can't be, and that you still have to go through all these days, months, years..

* * *

I was filing for an authenticated form of my birth certificate this afternoon, needed in applying for an SSS, which is required for my employment. Yepyep, starting tomorrow, i'll be a trainee at this call center at EastWood, Libis (i'll check what time my free hours would be, so you could come visit. hehe). Two weeks from now, i'll be a working girl. (im no bum nomore. yeaah!)

Anyway, as i was saying, i was filing for a BC authentication at our Municipal Hall, and it was, expectedly, a long, torturous process of falling in line and filling out forms, with strangers all around who seem to keep on staring right at you. I stood there, for two long hours, trying to read Catcher In The Rye for the nth time (it was the only book lying 'round the room, and i didnt have time to choose which book to bring), glad that it wasn't too sunny, and the breeze was cool enough. Once in a while, i would shut the book close, and try to think of something else instead, events of the past month rushing through my mind. The joy, the laughter, the dreams, the obstacles, u-turns and detours, struggles, and tears. It was, let's say.. uh, bittersweet. Yes, that's the word.

And there, somewhere in the middle of all the noise, the complaining people, and the annoying voice of the old woman announcing names and instructions, i held my book aside, and stared on the ground. Then i imagined i was having this conversation with God..

      "So hey, Lord, what do i do next?"
      "Patience, Riz. Wait on me.."
      "I know that Lord, but sometimes, it's just too hard.."
      "When you have joy in your heart, nothing seems to be too hard. Are you contented with what you have now, Riz?"
      (silence)
      "Are you happy?"
      (silence)
      "Are you, my child?"
      "..I am, Lord."
      "Liar. I can see your heart, Riz. I know what's in it.."
      "I'm sorry Lord, i really am.. Tell me what to do, Lord, please.. Help me."
      "Let go, trust me, find your happiness in me instead, and everything else will follow. The waiting may be hard, the journey torturous, but it's going to be worth it, I promise."
      "..Ok Lord, I trust you.."
      (silence)
      "Lord?"
      "Yes, Riz?"
      "Thank you."
      "Anytime Riz, anytime.."

* * *

I didnt get my Birth Certificate authenticated, after all. The office was closing at 5pm. I was still far from the start of the line. We were advised to come back tomorrow. It was ok, really. For some reasons, i never felt even the least frustrated at all. I never even thought my two hours was wasted. I'd come back and fall in line all over again, if need be. I may not get what i came for, but i know i will in His perfect time.

Patience Riz, wait on me..

Maybe, i didn't just imagine that conversation. Maybe, it really did happen.

Riz Blabbered @ 4:07:00 PM.

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